Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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