just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested