They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
