Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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