do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
