Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
