I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
