remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize