ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
