I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize