before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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