I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
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