im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
