I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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