the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize