i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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