Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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