his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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