Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
