ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
