all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
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Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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