You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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