And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
