How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize