On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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