watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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