Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
