dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
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i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
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So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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