Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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