She announced her abortion via fbk
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
