Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
