i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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