i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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