Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
