I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
not ubering you a puppy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
