R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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