The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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