i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
