Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
