My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
