Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
