I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize