I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
