My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
