I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
