wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
