i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
