so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pants are for mortals
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
