the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
