Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
