Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
