Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize