He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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