So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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