there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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