Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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