im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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